HIS STORY
"Extensive use of John Dorion's voice overs with some parts edited"
Over the past few days I tried to convince myself that the reason I totally fell apart was because I missed home. But I realized that’s not it. I was scared, I guess after all these years, I still think of my parents and friends as super heroes, who will help me out of any situation I’m in.
I don’t think people are meant to be by themselves and one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You’d never know it, but there’s most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way. Maybe because you realize that you aren’t as stable and strong as you thought. Maybe because you know you should’ve handled something differently. Or maybe because you aren’t as good and nice as you thought you were.
Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either take your frustrations on people you care, wallow in self-pity or you can suck it up and move ahead. It’s your call. I didn't have the strength to make the right one and it got back to me.
The truth is, it is all your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones that make up who you are as a person and It’s generally the tough moments that help you realize who you’ve finally become.
Note :
- Thank you "Mouli, Pinky, Amruth, Swathi, Ramesh, Shrew & Dms" for your words of wisdom and for trying to fix me over these past few days.
- I know the whole world's in a frenzy cuz I've started blogging again :)
A Fight To Imperfection
Pingu hated waking up early, especially on a Sunday. To wake up was one thing, but to go out and play cricket was even worse. His best friend Sai was already waiting downstairs with his BDM bat.
(Sai and Pingu were best friends since they were six. Everyone envied the duo's coolest collection of WWF cards, radiums and double decker magnet pencil boxes. They went to school together, played cricket together and spent most of their time hopelessly playing the spirit game. When at school they sneaked out of PT class, played pen-dash during the science classes and slept through the math classes.)
Pingu came down and lazily started walking with his friend. "Today i will score a century" Sai said. Pingu ignored his drivel, he knew they were definitely going to lose the match as the opponents had a bowler who could bowl off spinners, on spinners, out spinners, in spinners and what not. Eventually they did lose the game.
After the match the captain of the rival team mocked Sai, so he punched him. The skirmish grew into a big fight, and everyone started hitting Sai. Pingu tried to fight but he realized he wasn't strong so he ran to call someone. A few adults stopped the fight and Pingu felt he did the right thing by getting the adults involved.
Next day Sai accused Pingu of being a coward and the entire class labeled him a darpok. Most things went back to normal in a few days except for the best friends part. The next time they played cricket Sai had to chose his side, one after one he selected his players. Pingu was usually the first person to enter Sai's team but this time he was left out. Pingu didn't want to play in the other team so he went back home and cried. He cried because he felt weak,he cried because he couldn't discriminate right from wrong . How could he feel guilty even after doing what he felt was right?. Did his friends really mean the world to him? Was he really a coward? Would he always run away?. He realized that it would have hurt him a lot lesser if he would have taken a blow instead of running away and that sometimes doing the right thing may hurt a loved one.
Twelve years later Pingu still struggles to say the right words but he knows that relationships are inherently weak and a moment of indecision can scar a person for a lifetime. Some of us are cursed to hide our feelings, Some of us make stupid mistakes, Some of us are scared of getting hurt and Some of us just don't know how to make a loved one smile, but if all of us are perfect would love still be so amazing.
CLOSER
I've had enough of this parade.
I'm thinking of the words to say.
When I see you then I know it will be next to me
And when I need you then I know you will be there with me
I'll never leave you...
-------- Travis - Closer.
I've always struggled to say the right words to people around me. This post is a tiny attempt to thank all the people who have made my life so amazing.
GOD : I thank you for blessing me with the most amazing parents and friends.
PARENTS : I live for you, and I'd trade my entire life for a moment with you cuz you are the best parents in the whole universe and I know you love me more than anyone ever can......saying anything else would just be an understatement.
COUSINS : I hate you for all the girly things you make me do, but thats insignificant compared to how much I love you. You've always been there for me, laughed at my silly jokes, listened to my stupid stories, been a part of my crazy pranks, held me together when things didn't go my way. I know we haven't spent as much time together as we wish but I promise that from now on I will try harder. Love you loads.
FRIENDS :
Mouli : My mentor/idol, you have helped me through so many tough times, Ive lost count of it, I can never thank you enough. I hope I can be half as good a person as you.
Shrew a.k.a Sravan : The only person who has more problems than me at any given instant, I've learned so much from you, you are my voice of reason. Thanks for always cheering me up.
Rambo a.k.a Ramesh : Hyderabad without you would never be the same, if it weren't for you I would have probably turned into nerdracula a lot sooner. Coolio :)
Sai + Srikanth + Tkt + Kuppu + Manda + Ravi + Praveen + Po + Pinky + Nikhil + Dukaye + Chintu + Sneha + Ajay +.................. : The most amazing childhood friends ever, can't forget all the goofy times and the cricket matches.
Mukala : Rash on the outside but one of the nicest persons I've come across, Thanks for always being there for me even though I couldn't do the same for you.
Nm : Some people are supposed to stay in your life forever, While others walk into your life to show you paradise before they walk out. You have changed me in more ways than I can possibly imagine. If I could live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing about us.
Dms + Bully + Babai + Gangee : The first group at NITW that I could be a part of, the sportstars of NITW( even though most would disagree I still believe we play the best football ever). I can never forget the countless trips to dhaba and the unlimited entertainment.
Aditya : One of the few people in NITW who is as lazy as me and thinks along the same lines as me.Thanks for always listening to my elimination plans and reading my posts.
Amruth : The Roger Fooderer of NITW, we have played the most ridiculous tennis of all time, if I ever turn pro its because of your stupid serve.
A special thanks to all the people who have made this blog and hence this post possible... Azeera ( I've started blogging after reading your amazing posts ), Dms ( Thanks a lot for always trying to improve my blog with your google wisdom, we shall rule the internet some day ;)the billions of people worldwide who eagerly wait for my posts.........
Sick Sad Little World Soaked In Infinite Misery
She was a pretty little girl,
Born to smile, born to love,
But every tear she cried,
Was a stab till love was done.
A victim of his selfishness,
She was torn inside,
When tears were blood,
She couldn't cry anymore.
Trapped in a body that wasn't her own,
She fell into an endless well of misery,
Hitting the bottom was the only relief,
She came to an everlasting rest.
Lost in this sick sad world,
Some little girls only know to weep,
For their souls are murdered,
By evil men the world doesn't hang.
Will the world ever care???
For these little girls that bleed.
I shouldn't have written this poem as I can never relate to the amount of pain a person goes through in such circumstances but, everyday the newspaper is filled with rape incidents...........Uncles, neighbours,teachers, cops, brothers, fathers.......I can't understand how people can be so cruel.........Will the world ever be free from all this misery and pain......
ABDUCTION OF LOVE
Torn apart between right and wrong,
We struggle in a state of lunacy,
Filled with volatile beliefs,
We crawl in a pit of confusion.
Like moths around a flame,
We fight over the unknown,
Drowning in the darkness of discrimination,
We fail to see all the similarity.
Lost in the delusions of power,
We lose a grip on life,
Unaware of the beauty of love,
We pour hatred into our souls.
Starve your suspiscions,
Free your soul from rage,
Love is all we need,
Lets fill our hearts with it.
There is a paradise waiting for all of us.......If we can put an end to hatred and give love a chance......Nationality, Political beliefs, Ethnicity, Religion, Caste......there can be a million things that seperate us......but they should never stop us from loving each other.......
21 Dreaming on 30
After watching an episode of scrubs in which JD & Turk have a "Things to do before we turn 30" list, I have decided to come up with a wish list of my own. I am confused about where my life's heading, mainly coz I am still as emotional as a six year old girl and my decision making ability is worse than that of a drunken baboon. So maybe analyzing what I want from my life by making a list of my selfish wishes might clear things up.
30 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I TURN 30
1) Meet Alicia Silverstone and get a picture taken with her.
2) A silent walk in the rain with a girl I like.
3) MS in the US of A.
4) Get a really cool job and use the extra cash to publish my poems.
5) Visit Disney Land.
6) Learn playin a piano.
7) Kiss a girl on top of Eiffel tower.
8) Learn a Foreign language.
9) A ride on a Giant Wheel.
10) Sky diving.
11) Learn to swim.
12) Hit six sixes in an over.
13) Visit France and Italy after exploring India.
14) Climb Mt. Moula Ali. ( Which happens to be right beside my house)
15) Eat atleast 100 types of brown chocolate.
16) Go on a 'real' date.
17) Watch Chelsea play at the bridge.
18) Sing in front of an audience.
19) Lose myself in the eyes of a person, whatever that means.
20) Try my super cool yet super dangerous Bhaski Bottom wrestling move on someone.
21) Walk on a beach with a loved one, when it is raining.
22) Get pictures taken with a donkey, dolphin, seal, penguin and panda.
23) Continue to be ciggy and booze free.
25) Wear a spiderman outfit and run in the streets.
26) Get front row tickets to a Himesh Reshammiya concert and mock him all along.
27) Go camping in a forest and watch the sky all night long.
28) Run the Hyderabad marathon.
29) Direct a mini movie and get a cool nick like VJpac or Vthug.
30) Help an old man cross a road. ( The toughest task among the 30, esp coz I am horrible at crossing roads)
It's gonna be completing tasks Earl Hickey style.........
BREATHE
Ambrosia never tasted sweeter than,A silent peek of your elysian smile,
Like the moonlight that adorns the night,You've filled every ounce of me with ecstasy.
Songs of an enchanted nymph wouldn't coax,Restless souls that long for your voice,Like the love for gold that enamoured midas,You've enraptured my inane heart.
